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I need to get something off my chest, and I think a lot of you already know exactly what I’m about to say.
Klay Thompson reportedly cheated on Megan Thee Stallion. They broke up. And if you’ve been anywhere near Black Twitter or social media in the last few weeks, you already know that a large and very loud portion of the internet decided the real issue was… Megan.
Not the cheating. Megan.
I need us to sit with that for a minute.
Here We Go Again
There’s a script that gets pulled out every single time a Black woman is visibly hurt by a man, and it goes something like this: What did she do to make him act that way? She’s too much. She’s too loud. She’s too successful. She emasculates men. She should’ve been more of this or less of that.
We saw it with Beyoncé and Jay-Z. We saw it with Jada and Will. And now we’re seeing it with Megan.
The woman gets cheated on and the comment sections fill up with men — and sadly some women too — explaining in exhaustive detail why it’s actually her fault. She’s “intimidating.” She’s “not wife material.” She doesn’t know how to “submit.”
This pattern has a cost. A real one. And we’re going to pay it later.
This Is Textbook Misogynoir
Scholar Moya Bailey coined the term misogynoir to describe the very specific, very targeted hatred that sits at the intersection of anti-Blackness and sexism — the kind that is reserved almost exclusively for Black women. It’s not just that people are being mean. It’s that there is a cultural reflex, deeply embedded, that says Black women are never quite the victim. Never quite deserving of sympathy. Always somehow responsible for whatever happens to them.
When a white celebrity gets cheated on, the internet sends her flowers. When a Black woman gets cheated on, the internet sends her a list of things she did wrong.
That’s not just misogyny. That’s misogynoir. And it’s operating in full view.
The Double Standard Is Right There in Plain Sight
If you need proof that this isn’t about cheating in general — that it’s specifically about how Black women get treated — just look at how the internet responded to other high-profile cheating scandals.
When Arnold Schwarzenegger cheated on Maria Shriver and fathered a child with their housekeeper, the conversation centered on Arnold’s betrayal. Maria was treated with sympathy. Nobody dissected her personality or asked what she did to push him away.
When Ben Affleck cheated on Jennifer Garner, she was practically canonized by the internet. Patient. Graceful. A woman who deserved better.
When Tristan Thompson cheated on Khloé Kardashian — repeatedly — the outrage was directed at him. And at the other women. Khloé got sympathy, support, and a fanbase that rallied around her for years.
Now look at what Megan got.
Same situation. Man cheats. Relationship ends. But this time the comment sections aren’t asking what he did wrong. They’re building a case against her. Her music is too sexual. She’s not humble enough. She’s the kind of woman men have fun with but don’t commit to. The whole thing reads like a character assassination disguised as relationship advice.
The difference between those women and Megan isn’t behavior. It’s not character. It’s not what they did or didn’t do in their relationships.
You already know what the difference is.
Black Women March. Does Anyone March for Us?
Here’s the part that really gets me.
Black women are the most consistent, most dedicated, most selfless base of support in this community. When Black men are killed by police, we are in the streets. We organized the early infrastructure of Black Lives Matter. We fundraise. We post. We show up — for our fathers, our brothers, our sons, our neighbors.
Oluwatoyin Salau was murdered at nineteen years old, weeks after speaking at a Black Lives Matter protest. The silence was deafening compared to what it would have been for almost anyone else.
Breonna Taylor’s name had to be fought into the mainstream conversation.
And when Megan — a living, breathing Black woman who was publicly humiliated by a man’s infidelity — needed even a fraction of that energy back? She got blamed for it instead.
I’m not pointing this out to stoke division. I’m pointing it out because this is the full picture of what’s happening, and it deserves to be named.
What Are We Teaching the Next Generation?
When we collectively decide that a Black woman who got cheated on somehow brought it on herself, here’s what we’re actually teaching:
We’re teaching our daughters that being successful makes you a target. That having a big personality is a liability in a relationship. That if a man disrespects you, the community will audit you before they check him.
We’re teaching our sons that cheating is forgivable as long as you can find a reason to blame her for it.
And we’re teaching both that Black women’s pain is a debate — something to weigh, argue about, and deliver a verdict on — rather than something that simply deserves compassion.
That’s dangerous. Not in a vague, abstract way. In a very direct, this-affects-real-girls-in-real-relationships way. When young Black women absorb the message that they will never be defended, they stop asking to be. They stay in situations they shouldn’t. They shrink themselves to be more “acceptable.” They learn that being loved by their community is conditional on being palatable — and the conditions are always, somehow, stacked against them.
The Uncomfortable Question
The men who are in Megan’s comments right now explaining why she deserved to be cheated on — a lot of them have Black women at home. Mothers. Sisters. Daughters.
Do they apply this same logic to them?
Does a Black woman only deserve protection and sympathy when she’s their Black woman? Or do we actually believe that Black women, as a group, deserve to be treated with the basic dignity we demand for everyone else in this community?
Because you can’t march for Black lives and then turn around and lead a pile-on against a Black woman whose boyfriend cheated on her. That’s not a both/and. At some point the contradiction has to be examined.
Are you seeing this play out in your feeds too? Let’s get into it in the comments.
